What is Imposter Syndrome?

Do you ever get the feeling as if what you're doing is not enough? Or that all the information you learned goes away? We've all been through it; it's called Imposter Syndrome, which is more common than you think. Harvard Business Review defines Imposter Syndrome as: "doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud. it disproportionately affects high-achieving people, who find it difficult to accept their accomplishments. many question whether they’re deserving of accolades".

I am writing this post to share my experience with it and how I am trying to overcome imposter syndrome.

A little about Me

Let's first start by telling you a little bit about myself. I am a Junior Front-End developer who is on the journey of finding a job to develop my skills and also looking to step out of my comfort zone to be able to help and inspire others. I enjoy nature and music, as well as art and technology.

How everything started

I want to start by telling you my story and how I found out I was experiencing imposter syndrome. I never realized that I've always had it or how to deal with it until now. Ever since I started to look into paths to build a career, during my high school time I always came across a huge wall that brought my dedication and admiration to a halt. It all first started when I decide to take art seriously and fell in love with it. I even had the honor to be placed in an advanced class but in my eyes, that didn't mean anything or would help me achieve anything. It wasn't until my last year of high school when I stopped and realized that it wasn't fun anymore. I always had to meet deadlines or complete art for my exams and projects for my portfolio which was a huge deciding factor in my career at the peak of high school. After all those years and endless nights of holding a pencil to a fresh blank piece of paper, my mind told me that all this time I hadn't learned anything. That all I was doing was copying others' ideas and wasn't bringing my own to life. That I was just taking those ideas and making them my own. I felt as if I didn't deserve to be placed in this class or even be recognized for making art that didn't come from my own imagination. I felt as if everything I had achieved and all the art I created was an illusion; it was something I unconsciously created just to feel good about myself. By the time I went on spring break, after submitting my unfinished portfolio I questioned what I got on that test, but until this day I am unable to tell you my score. I didn't want to know. After my spring break was over, I came back and sat at my desk with my headphones blasting music. I saw everyone smiling and laughing, sharing their score and I thought to myself "you thought you could achieve something when you are surrounded by immense talent everywhere you look, everyone is able to come up with their own drawings, and here you are taking others ideas". Months went by and I graduated in 2019 with a normal GPA, no awards, and no recognition, but I left happy now that the torture was over. Soon after, I decided to go to a technical college. I took a 1200-hour coding course, and man do I tell you I had hope again. I instantly felt the rush of adrenaline caused by the challenge of being able to become a problem solver in a whole different way. It was great, the little kid inside who admired Iron Man felt as if I was doing something special. I was extremely thrilled to get to the next language, I grew curious about new technologies coming out and being on top of the newest trends, but that was a huge mistake I made. I overloaded my brain with so many things and I wanted to learn every single language and framework, I even went to bed and dreamed of solutions to the bugs in my code and after that, I was burned out, which caused me to feel lost and feel like everything I had previously learned was not enough. Eventually, all my work was lost and everything I did was gone in that little USB. Life came by and hit me like a train. I felt everything going downhill. I had to find a place to stay and something to make money, so I did cooking and that was great. It taught me a lot about working under pressure with a sense of urgency and precision and meeting great people along the way, which helped me get up and get to the point where I'm at now.

But here I am back on the path that made me feel as if I was doing something, still trying to learn and accept that I won't be the best out there but will be the best version of myself and I know now what I can do to try and overcome imposter syndrome. I will tell you I still feel lost and unprepared and you may ask why I am writing this. I am not a professional or the best one out there; I am just a simple guy, with simple problems that everyone faces at some point in their careers and I am here to tell you that it's okay to feel lost and unprepared.. you will always feel that way. Now here's my advice: keep trying, keep pushing, build discipline, take risks, and don't worry about failing; someone out there will recognize your talent and hard work and the passion that keeps you going. Your work won't be the best but it will impact someone out there to take the initiative to start. Always be led by curiosity and not by greed. The most bizarre and successful people... were led by curiosity.

I hope this helps you and that you get something out of it, thank you for taking time out of your day to read this. Keep going you got this... :)